Day 1

Left work. Today seems like every other saturday. I work to pay the bills. Seems like an endless cycle. Seems like a cycle that is worth nothing but pain. I feel worthless today. I managed not to connect to a single living organism without it directly correlating to myself. What a worthless flesh of meat I have been. I do nothing but serve the contrary service. I'm fighting for the wrong side. Instead of causing good in the world, I create the exact opposite. I create a place filled with pain and negativity. Why do I behave in this way? What is the cause of my depression, my violent mood swings that seem to destroy every thing in its path.? Why am I so unhappy? Do I not see happiness in anything? Why must I suffer so greatly with seemingly no purpose. Perhaps I know that what you are doing is for the better of me. I hope I don't mess this up. I hope that you too want me to succeed. I hope that you will remain by me always, and I wished to be so too. I wish it to remain by you too. Let make ourselves better and stop fighting. I can be an asset to the cause. I can help. My heart is here examine it and you will see it to be pure. Help me and I'll never forget, till the day I die, I will never forget. Compassion, Optimism, and Grace is God. Amen