Day 4

A lady warns that my third eyes is closing. Tomorrow I meet with her so that she will help me to see the world. I'm tired of seeing the world with such worldly eyes, it's time for me to see again. She says I was a warrior long long ago. I asked her if I was a good warrior and she said yes. I was just and fair, I protected the people, but made many enemies. Thus, the reason for my new age predicament. The negative karma from the past, has made it's way to the present. I must correct the mistakes I made, and move on. I was a warrior long long ago, and today I am a server. Something is wrong here, I must correct this. I feel dead inside and I hope she will wake me.

I was a leader once, I can be a leader again.

Day 3

Sexuality. Why must it be so addicting?

Day 2

I have surfaced from the quicksand. As I gasp for air I notice a white figure helping me get out of this mess. My head is out, but I am in danger of falling in again. I must stop moving and trust in the white figure, trust that He will get me out. STOP MOVING! It's hard when faced with your own mortality not to do anything about it, but I must trust that He will help me. Fresh air feels good. The pit from which I came from was filled with hellish demons that made me believe they were my friends. They tried to inspire me to stay, but I read their eyes. The red sparkle omitting from their pupil gave their evil plot away. They wanted me to stay so that they can consume my soul, so that my soul would never see the light of day, but I saw the light above. I took a chance and He pulled me from the depth of the earth. I am breathing fresh air again. My head is soiled with mud dripping from my forehead. My body is still stuck in the quicksand. STOP MOVING! I feel optimistic I will get out, that He will help me. The sky above opens up and a hail of rain pours over my head. Thunderous noises and flashes of light surround my head. I am momentarily blinded, and loose track of Him. I panic and... STOP MOVING! I stop and let go. I loose all hope that I will ever get out of this pit. I slowly begin to sink again, down to the pit in which I came from. I feel my feet being clawed and pulled down further. As my eyes begin to be coverd with mud, I see Him again. He is back and this time He wont let go. I am now in a vicious tug and pull. It is between good and evil that nothing gets done. A stalemate that soon gets broken by a loud thunderous voice. The claws at my feet are no more, and I begin to surface once again. Let's hope this time I get out.

Day 1

Left work. Today seems like every other saturday. I work to pay the bills. Seems like an endless cycle. Seems like a cycle that is worth nothing but pain. I feel worthless today. I managed not to connect to a single living organism without it directly correlating to myself. What a worthless flesh of meat I have been. I do nothing but serve the contrary service. I'm fighting for the wrong side. Instead of causing good in the world, I create the exact opposite. I create a place filled with pain and negativity. Why do I behave in this way? What is the cause of my depression, my violent mood swings that seem to destroy every thing in its path.? Why am I so unhappy? Do I not see happiness in anything? Why must I suffer so greatly with seemingly no purpose. Perhaps I know that what you are doing is for the better of me. I hope I don't mess this up. I hope that you too want me to succeed. I hope that you will remain by me always, and I wished to be so too. I wish it to remain by you too. Let make ourselves better and stop fighting. I can be an asset to the cause. I can help. My heart is here examine it and you will see it to be pure. Help me and I'll never forget, till the day I die, I will never forget. Compassion, Optimism, and Grace is God. Amen